Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize