I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
