Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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