spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
