Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
