I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Found your dick twin last night
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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