We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
