THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
