Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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