Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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