Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
