I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
