you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
