That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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