saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
