Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
