I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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