the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
