"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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