Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
