What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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