You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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