Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Someone came in the potted fern
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
