Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
