no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize
