Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
