Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
