foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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