I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
