So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
