I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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