No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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