WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
