His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
