i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
