No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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