Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize