Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
porn star boner night. come get it.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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