This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
