1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
