I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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