took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Houston, we have a squirter
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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