Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
