She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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