He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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