guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
