she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
