Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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