I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize