i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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