yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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