and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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