Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize