Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
