If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
