Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
if only i could text you this smell
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
