I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
did you just send me my own nude
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
