Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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