STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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