peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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