It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
