Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
