come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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