alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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